Explosive Mandolin: Chronicles of a Small Blue Cat.
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| Thursday, December 3rd, 2009 | | 1:24 am |
If anyone has an XP install disc they'd be willing to lend me, I'd be enormous grateful. I found my serial key for XP, so if I can get ahold of one that will fix my computer woes. Edit: Kraig is a classy, stand up guy who could beat up a unicorn if he had to. | | Monday, November 30th, 2009 | | 12:32 pm |
So, I am having a lot of problems with this computer. It will often refuse to boot up, and if it does start up it usually crashes a couple minutes later. With dilligence it will get running properly, and allow me to use it no problem. A recovered from a trojan a while ago, and suspect that something it left behind is the cause of this. I am currently building a new PC and wanted to give this one away to a co-worker who is without a computer. Interestingly, this one began to fail rapidly as soon as I ordered the parts for the new one. I've joked that my old computer is having a jealous fit. I want to try and reformat, wipe the whole thing clean, see if the problem persists. If not, I can give it away happily confident that it won't give my co-worker problems like this and start my new life on my new PC. Problem is that the computer CRASHES whenever I use the built in partitioned restore features. I mean, RELIABLY crashes every time at the exact same juncture. I'm very obviously being blocked, I think. I'm going to leave some scanners running while I'm at work and hopefully find something missed before. I kind of wish I had a Windows XP disc and serial key to force a clean install, but this computer was pre-packaged with just the partition. There's the possibility this is just a hardware issue, but I'm not sure how to diagnos the problem. I'd really prefer to get this one fixed so that I can give it away, but if it becomes too taxing I may have to just junk it. Any suggestions would be appreciated. | | Wednesday, November 18th, 2009 | | 11:46 pm |
After work, I was heading out to my car when I saw a little girl in apurple jacket bolt away from her mother as fast as she could run. Her mother shouted and demanded that her daughter come back this instance but all she did was stand indignantly at the opposite end of theparking lot with an infuriated look. The mother took a minute to get in her car to catch up with her, but as soon as she got near the little girl ran off even further. I felt a little helpless watching all of this, as well as captivated. I did not feel entitled to intervene and doubt it would've been appreciated by either party. I ultimately couldn't watch how it turned out, and had to head home. The little girl's actions struck me as so powerful, though. There is probably a short story in here somewhere. | | Sunday, November 15th, 2009 | | 12:50 pm |
Quick survey I need to run for my brother: What flavors or foods remind you of Christmas? | | Friday, November 13th, 2009 | | 2:37 am |
Hey. I don't listen to a lot of music. I don't own a MP3 player. My mom wants one, though. She wants to listen to the bible on it, and also Narnia books on tape that she bought. So, I get her one last year. RCA brand. This is a mistake. Thing doesn't have a playlist function, and all the CDs and files she has doesn't synch up very well with the auto-naming functions on Windows Media Player. Assigns them things that are WRONG or assigns entirely seperate CDs the SAME NAME and so all the tags are out of whack. I could go in there manually and name every file tag myself (don't actually have a track list for the Narnia CDs though) but I just did a patch job to keep it rolling because she doesn't care about that stuff. She wants the files to play in order. A simple request. Only the MP3 player sorts everything by file name, artist name, track name, album name, and all of that stuff is ALL OVER the place. She can't figure this out. I need it simple. I need a playlist. The player doesn't have one. Out the door it goes. I get her a new one for Christmas this year. This one DOES have a playlist feature. Only, it has to be done entirely through either Windows Media Player or iTunes. Okay. I make playlists for the Narnia books in Window Media Player. I drop everything in the player. This doesn't work. I have to use the sync function in Windows Media Player. Now, every time I do this, Windows Media Player wants to put EVERY SINGLE FILE I HAVE ON THE COMPUTER INTO THE PLAYER. There is a list. It asks me what I want to put in the player. I tell it what I want to put in the player. It will do this, but for whatever reason it will only do this if it also puts every other file in there too. This is incredibly frustrating and it really shouldn't be. I am clearly misunderstanding something. I am browsing through the options and don't see anything related to limiting my sync. I look at the help files and it acts like all I have to do is select the files I want and ZIP I'm done. I can't remember the last time I have been this irritated. I wasn't this irritated when my car broke down out of town. I'm going to try iTunes. Hopefully that will be tidy. I have a feeling that it is going to give me hell over the ID tags on the files. All of the automatic tools seem to be actively working against me. I just want to put a handful of files on a Sony MP3 player with playlists so that my mom can listen to them as a Christmas present. Why is this so difficult. I wanted to go to bed two hours ago. | | Sunday, November 8th, 2009 | | 12:28 pm |
| | Tuesday, October 13th, 2009 | | 1:31 pm |
Okay, so I'm in the habbit of writing every day now. An hour every day, rain or shine. The routine so ingrained that now I get agitated when I break it. This is good. Thing is, I'm still not getting a whole lot done. So I figure that I either need to find ways to devote more time to writing or simply become more efficient. The latter is more likely, simply because I feel like I am just spinning my wheels most of the time when I sit down to write. I have come to terms with the fact that writing a first draft means that I have to churn out whatever garbage I can simply in the name of upward momentum, but revision is still something I struggle with. I can literally spend FOREVER trying to polish something, trying to make it click, where it doesn't sound like rubbish when I read it. I can be pretty critical of myself but I do want to make sure that the end result is good. I think I need to develop the process a little more. Identifying what needs fixing and in what ORDER it needs to be fixed. I can flounder around a lot tweeking things that ultimately get scrapped. I have been working on Son of the Fist for MONTHS now. I want despertely to finish it and move on, but I also want it to give it the completion it deserves. I'm frustrated that I can sit down and devote my full attention to it and at the end of my session only have a handful of lines of dialogue fixed. That is still SOMETHING, but I'm left anxious because that time may be wasted if I realize that the ending needs to go an entierly different direction entirely. This has happened three or four times already. I'm a little miserable over the mis-spent energy. In one sense unavoidable in re-writing, I just want to re-write BETTER so that I waste less time. Time is precious. My biggest anxiety about my writing right now is just that efficency just doesn't measure up. The Big Boys in the business don't have the luxury of spending months on a small project. It needs to get done, and it needs to be good. Of course, letting anxiety get to me is about the dumbest thing I can do, but that's usually the default attitude I slip into when I'm not focused. Also: I keep getting ideas for Game Projects lately, which are unhelpful. I mean, I love daydreaming about them, but I don't have any of the important skills required. I can't code, I can't do art, and I can't compose. It would take years to develop all of those skills to a base mediocre level. I could also persaude a group of people to do all the grunt work for me, if I made a design document that is compelling enough, but I feel like that no indie game makers in their right mind would go in on that. Who wants to make some else's vision a reality when you can do that for your own? The design is the fun part, and writing in games is often superfulous. I don't really bring anything vital to the table besides far flung ideas. I could still TRY, of course, but it really shouldn't be priority right now. I want to complete more projects independantly before using anyone else as a crutch. And the part that's important to me, the writing, still needs a lot of attention. | | Monday, October 5th, 2009 | | 7:25 am |
Hooo. I am so ready for a day off. Aside from seven consequetive work days (Those with more demanding work schedules are entitled to scoff,) the past three days went something like: Get up, go to work, get home, go to bed immediately, wake up early, go to work, get home, go to bed immediately to wake up even earlier, go to work. Call me a whiner, but I really appreciate my downtime. Also, my dad took my car and I'm supposed to be heading off to work in ten minutes. GRAH. I've been meaning to try and make some posts lately, seeing as how I haven't posted anything in FOREVER. But I've pretty much settled into a routine of Write, Work, Spend an hour or two gaming with friends, sleep. Which is fair enough, though I feel a bit isolated from my friends who don't play games with me online. | | Sunday, October 4th, 2009 | | 10:27 am |
So, it looks like one of my favorite games journalism websites came to an end the other day. http://www.consolevania.com/index.htmSo. After months of not updating (par for course, really) Consolevania has uploaded an entire episode's worth of content, the bad news is that this appears to be the end of the line. Consolvania and Video Gaiden have been my favorite source for games journalism for some time now, as unreliable as their updates were. I simply don't know of any other reviewers who get so INTO It when they're talking about games they like. Every recommendation hits you with the strongest sincerity and always made me really want to try those games based on their enthusiasm alone. And the thing was that my tastes lined up with theirs quite often. Their final episode touched on this, and how getting excited about games was always what the show was really about at heart. They talk about how Internet culture has turned us all into a bunch of venomous critics when really we ought to take a step back and realize how fortunate we are to even have this medium in the first place. The show itself had been becoming more and more scarce in recent years, I suspect in large part to the fact that the creators now have children to take care of and that takes priority over talking about games. But aside from that, they made it clear that so much effort can be put into dissecting games that there just isn't any time to just ENJOY them. Which I think they are entitled to start doing. I'm going to miss those classy, vulgar scottsmen and their passionate video game rambling. | | Friday, August 28th, 2009 | | 8:03 pm |
| | Friday, August 21st, 2009 | | 12:36 pm |
I had a run in with the police last night! Like the time Wiggy, me and Wilco got thrown out of a bar in Baltimore, it is far less exciting than it sounds. Info on that later, maybe! | | Wednesday, August 19th, 2009 | | 9:29 pm |
| | Saturday, August 15th, 2009 | | 7:46 pm |
Mewd is excitable about things he likes
Saw Ponyo today! Highly enjoyable film. Insane production values as to be expected. Highly imaginative, a visual feast. From a writing standpoint, though, I'm kind of disappointed. The third act feels very weak. There is so much room for interesting conflict towards the end and yet everything is completely resolved without consquence or much additional effort on the behalf of the protagonists. There was a lot of material they could've used; the ramifications of being human, the 'test' Sasuke had to undergo, the Moon and ocean being out of balance, the miuse of the elixer, seafoam, and the problem of Ponyo's parents. I mean, it still works as is, and probably wouldn't be as appealing as a kids movie if they had made it that complicated, but usually Ghibli films don't stop short on the threshold like that. It was still certainly very good, more than worth admission. Also CRAZY OCEAN GUY IS AMAZING. | | Thursday, August 13th, 2009 | | 11:39 pm |
Ahhh! Les Miserables! I started reading right when I started my trip, and it's always kind of a gamble when I pick up a classic piece of lieteature because half the time it's unbearably dry. This is not the case with Les Miserables!! I am about half way through it now and it has proven time and time again to be a real page turner. I had a constant need to find out what becomes of Cossette and Jean ValJean. Jean ValJean is the MAN, incidentally. My only complaint with the book is perhaps that it there is such an enormity to every character that seems a little unconvincing. Characters are either enormously noble and kind and self sacrificing or absolutely horrid, monstrous and cruel. With only Jehart failing to be just one or the other. This kind of over blown good and evil is nigh mythic in its scale, which certainly has its appeal. You really root for the good guys and sincerely loathe the bad. But I still have that slight nagging sensation that it is not so common for peopleto gravitate so extremely. Also there is a tugging of fate that seems a bit contrived, but this is completely forgivable on account of such epic scenes as Jondrette and Leblanc in the apartment room with Marius watching through the peephole. That was an absolutely amazing situation to corner the characters into. Also, Jean in the courthouse was the most riveting thing I'd read in a while. I'm only 3 fifths through the blasted thing and I've felt like I've had more epic thrills that I could've expected. I have no idea how to feel about the musical. I've not seen it, but I expect it will be hard to transition from the characters in my mind's eye to the ones on stage to be very strange. | | 1:09 pm |
Back from my trip now! Posts and photos forthcoming. Have to go back to work first, though. Also, upon my return I found that a story submission I had made some six months or whatever earlier finally got accepted. That Street Light story from forever ago will now be appearing in Theaker's Quarterly Fiction. I will be recieving no compensation for the submission, and it will only physically be published in the UK, but that's still something. Now if only some of my other projects would just come to fruition. | | Friday, August 7th, 2009 | | 8:29 pm |
Goin' to go see Ryanoshi and Ludwiggy! Probably won't be online much! Try to keep celebrations of my absense relatively low-key! | | Thursday, August 6th, 2009 | | 2:09 pm |
Man. If you wanna feel grateful and spoiled, just spend any amount of time reading about living conditions in the pre-industrialized world. Especially for the lower classes. Considering how disposable human life used to be, you'd think we'd complain a whole lot less. High survival rates certainly gives us an enormous sense of self-entitlement. Not that I mind, I LIKE that my life isn't likely to be cut short by disease or famine. The new perspective of each subsequent generation gives each of us ample oppurtunity to take for granted every little convenience humanity has created to make our time spent on this Earth as pleasant as possible. The book on middle ages I am reading claims that the BARE MINIMUM a family would need to subside and live off the land would be around ten acres. In order for populations to increase any farther than the paltry sums of the ancient world, society had to exponentially become more organized and complicated to accomdate human life. We complain about burecracy and how society is screwed up, and it often pretty much is, but it is perhaps easy to forget that without society we would all be at each other's throats to survive. Our sense of entitlement to life can only really be valid if we are cooperative with civilization and considerate of our neighbors. Whenever we take advantage of other people, I think it is important to remember how difficult life really was before we started working together. We're all in this together. Important side note: Mrs. Hudson is friggin' hardcore. | | Monday, August 3rd, 2009 | | 2:26 pm |
A meme from the Literary Equine
1. Work of fiction I am currently reading: I just finished ' The Dark Company,' a collection of ghost stories of varying quality that the editor thought very highly of. Among them were classics like The Monkey's Paw and The Beckoning Fair One, both of which I quite liked. I'd already read Lovecraft's The Shadow Out of Time but that was a good one. The Willows by Algernon Blackwood was an unexpected favorite just for how aptly it described the psychological processes of its characters . Green Tea by Seridan Le Fanu was very interesting, with the twist at the end coming off as immensely weak. I for some reason remember hearing that ' The Jolly Corner' was supposed to be a very good ghost story but could not force myself to finish it. ' The Mezzotint' had a very effective premise that was done reasonably well. For whatever reason, I expected more of ' The Great God Pan' than I recieved. The Fall of the House of Usher felt like a very mundane way to start a book about the greatest ghost stories of all time. Next up I will be reading Les Miserables. 2. Work of nonfiction I am currently reading right now: Life in a Medieval Village by Frances and Joseph Gies. Thought it was something to warrant research since I seem to write a lot for fantasy/fair tale settings. Haven't really encountered much interested yet beyond that thatched roofs inevitably rotted thanks to rain and were the homes of mice, wasps and other unwanted vermin. They were so cheap and easy to make that peasants could hardly stop themsevles from using them, though. 3. Music album I find myself listening to a lot lately: Nothing, really. I have some classical stuff I got from the library but I rarely hunker down to listen to music. 4. Three things I'm excited about A) Going on a trip to see Ludwiggy and Ryanoshi in about a week. Should be fun. B) Got a couple days off after tonight. Consequetive days off are a big deal for me, okay? C) Ponyo on the Cliff will be in theaters soon! GLEEEEEEEE. 5. Three things I'm anxious about: A) Finishing Son of the Fist's freaking script B) Getting a move on with OTHER productions. I kind of want to start really hunkering down on Vanishing Hood in earnest. C) Getting back into college, adjusting my work schedule and life accordingly. 6. Three things I'm hoping for: A) That Son of the Fist is well recieved and that its production isn't fraught with the usual turmoil. B) That I learn to work and create and reshape stories more effective. I hate going weeks and weeks with nothing really to show for my work. I wanna be able to set my mind to a project and put out a solid product in a reasonable amount of time. C) That I get an Exceeds Expectations on my annual job review. Simply a matter of pride. | | Sunday, August 2nd, 2009 | | 4:02 pm |
 So I'm watching Sherlock Hound right now. Main reason I was drawn to this was because it was a project of Hayao Miyazaki, the guy responsible for some of the most preposterously wonderful animated movies outside of classic Disney. I was a little apathetic about giving the show a try, though, mainly because the premise isn't that compelling (It's Sherlock Holmes! Only now everyone is a goofy animal character!) but when I actually set down to watch it, it was pretty awesome. I kind of expected this to be merely a side project of Miyazaki's, something that would be kind of half-hearted compared to his movies, but the amount of animation detail and direction work put into it puts so many rival cartoons and anime to complete shame. Every character is animate and constantly doing interesting yet natural things: It lacks the sort of miminalist animation I'm used to from a lot of other Japanese cartoons, and is much more clean and consistant than most older western cartoons short of classic Warning Brothers. There's this real Miyazaki FEEL to it, especially in any scene of chaos where there is this enormous sense of scale and yet every faceless member of a crowd is treated with attention. It's a treat for someone like me who has a soft spot for polished animation. My only real criticism of the show is that it's pretty odd for something based off of freakin' Sherlock Holmes and yet have very little focus on investigation or logical reasoning. Hound is clever, sure, but the show spends far more time enjoying itself with high speed car chases, airship crashes, hostage situations, and swashbuckling high adventure. Which is still incredibly enjoyable, just in a way very seperate from why anyone normally likes the adventures of Sherlock Holmes. The plots aren't really that well though out, I'll admit. For instance, in the first episode we have a Scientist Being Blackmailed by Villain with Hostage situation. Which is pretty common, only subverted by the fact that the scientist SINGLE HANDEDLY STOPS THE VILLAIN'S SCHEME WITHOUT ANY ASSISTANCE WHAT-SO-EVER. The title character feels incredibly unneccesary when he does show up to save the day. This wasn't a good move, because the first episode really needed to establish what is exceptional about the title character. In spite of this complaint, this did not impair my enjoyment of the show AT ALL. The story, even if it was flawed, presented itself in such an entertaining way that I barely noticed anything wrong with it. Seriously, I don't know if it is just Miyazaki or if there were just a lot of talented people involved but I can't think of any cartoon series I have seen in recent memory that did not at least have some distant sensation of chafe and fear of looming deadlines and cut corners. It just feels very complete. I'm only three episodes in and I just needed to rant about how much I'm enjoying it. Also, as a side note: Professor Moriarity in this show is basically what Wilco would be like if he one day happened upon a cape and top hat and, losing all sense of restraint, instantly became a cackling victorian villain. Who apparently thought it was a good idea to hire Ludwiggy and I as henchmen. (WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT.) Seriously, though, the villain is pretty great. He doesn't seem to have any motivation what-so-ever to commit crimes outside of the unadulterated GLEE of pulling off a preposterous heist. He uses a robotic pyteredactyl to distract EVERYONE IN LONDON so that he can casually walk into a jewelry store and steal a single diamond. Classy. | | Saturday, August 1st, 2009 | | 2:30 pm |
I seem to have some work-a-holic tendancies. At least, in-so-far as I seem to get very anxious whenever I have have percieved responsibilities. I want to do everything in my power to not only accomplish them, but accomplish them WELL. I stress out sigificantly whenever I am distracted from a responsibility or need to leave it half done. This isn't entirely a bad thing, I mean, there are a lot of people in the world who don't care a flip about their jobs or even their personal projects. Actively wanting to do a good job is respectable. However, I kind of suspect that this is a vice in its own way. If I am assigned NO tasks, then my patience is tested and I am restless and anxious. Which is kind of silly since it's a chance to take it easy. An anxiety like that makes me wonder about whatever root emotions are driving me to be so preoccupied with wanting to do a good job, and I would imagine that the main one is that I am generally hungry for affirmation. I would like to be acknowelged as doing a good job, of doing my part. I don't neccesarily want a lot of praise, I would demure instantly if it was given, but I think I really want to feel like I am helpful and valuable to those around me. And I expect that part of this is a lack of confidence in my own self, since I am dreadfully aware of my shortcomings. Perhaps destructively so, as I am more than willing to dwell on how I fail to measure up. This isn't constructive. I would kind of like to be acknowelged by those around me as valuable, part of the group, helpful. This ravenous want for affirmation is the selfish side of my motivation; although conversely I also want to simply do my part because I have a lot of faith in humanity. I want to contribute and try my best to make society and civilization a tiny fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a percent better. I feel that this is our individual responsibility as human beings. Regardless, I find at work that I am stressed unless I am constantly finding something to do, and there aren't always tasks to attend to. So I think that work is functioning as a distraction for me and that I am avoiding something. That I am unlikely to recieve the kind of affirmation that I crave. Emotionally, I need to get over my apetite for approval, because it clearly borders on the unhealthy. Religiously, I think the piece of advice I would most likely recieve is that I ought to trust in God to be everything that I am not. Even though I am in reality, far from perfect, failing to meet my expectations or the ones of those around me, God graciously accepts me anyway and that should be adequate for me. Which honestly is very hard for me to be satisfied with. I don't feel like I'm every really going to 'recieve' this acceptance in an outward sign the way my apetites want. Assuming ANYTHING can satisfy my apetites, anyway. I am supposed to satiated by Christ's sacrifice. Which, grand as it is, feels highly impersonal. Selfishly I would like this affirmation directed at ME, rather than being spread out over the whole of humanity and seperated by two thousand years. This is sort of juvenile of me. I come to expect that the more secular of my friends would advise excercising my own independance and self confidence. Which I also do not find myself wanting to accept readily. As a person, I want very much to be connected and involved and part of other people. I find a philosphy where the basis of my psychological comfort and security is simply my own self to be repellant. I suspect that there is a middle ground between these two options and that I am merely looking at the matter in absolutes. I am also perhaps in a bad habit of trying to anticipate what people would say before even consulting them, though. I could very well be surprised. |
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